Fyre Festival Founder Lucks Out By Going To Prison Instead of Fyre Festival

Man, six years is a lot of time to spend in prison for completely ruining a music festival that never even started. But Fyre Festival was definitely that much of a complete disaster, so disgraced organizer Billy McFarland’s sentence honestly seems good. Prosecutors even asked for 11.

Which brings us to the most important question of this entire saga:

How will prison conditions compare to the conditions concertgoers experienced at Fyre Festival?

Luckily, we’ve already been investigating this for years months hours. We’ve got you covered.

Cost

Prison

According to the Vera Institute of Justice, it costs the state an average of $31,000 per inmate, per year. The prisoner pays nothing, but also makes $1-2 an hour for what is essentially modern slave labor if they get a job that helps decrease their time served. Honestly, it’s a terrible situation.

Fyre Festival

Tickets started at $450 for out-by-nightfall day passes and +$12,000 for deluxe packages. So, sure, prison is still definitely worse, but not by nearly enough. Fyre Festival wins this round, but does not advance unscathed.

Food

The most important thing in day-to-day life is, of course, food.

Prison

According to Wikipedia, a typical state prison meal consists of:

  • 2-3 ounces of meat or meat byproduct
  • half a cup of vegetables
  • three-quarters of a cup of a starch
  • three-quarters of a cup of salad with dressing

Wow, that’s actually kind of tough to beat. Will Fyre Festival even come close?

Fyre Festival

Nope! Here’s the food at Fyre Festival:

Prison wins! I can’t believe I just typed the words “prison wins.”

Accommodations

Prison

A standard cell is equipped with a bedstead that holds a mattress, and sink and toilet.

Fyre Festival

The “luxury glamping” tents they advertised are actually leftover disaster relief tents from USAaid:

I mean I can’t believe I’m saying this but… prison wins again?

First Aid

Prison

A genuine bright spot in this analysis of very sad situations! Prisoners actually get pretty good healthcare (compared to the rest of the United States which isn’t saying much but still let’s take a small victory where we can pretend we’re getting it)!

Fyre Festival

Nope!

Well, look – in the end, prison is prison. But let’s never forget the special kind of hell that its creator is able to avoid by going to prison.

Original Post: https://www.funnyordie.com/2018/10/12/17966106/fyre-festival-founder-prison-conditions

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