Hot Hot Hollywood: Will Smith Has Been Singing ‘Hava Nagila’ Faster And Faster For 52 Hours Straight While Building A Mausoleum For All His Family And Friends

Improving Journalism: The Washington Post Is Changing Its Slogan To ‘Democracy Dies In Darkness, Fascism Dies In Light, Read The Washington Post Each Day To Make Your Brain All Right’

Winning New Customers: Hallmark Has Introduced A New Line Of Greeting Cards For Siblings In Incestuous Relationships!

A Little Something For The Lisa Kudrow Fans: We Ranked Lisa Kudrow No. 1 On This List Of Most Influential Female Scientists

Huge Freaks Doing Cool Things: The 19 Most Important Milestones In NBA History

Beautiful! Habitat For Humanity Just Committed To Building 5,000 Haunted Houses In America’s Poorest Regions This October

Extremely Brave: Strong President Donald Trump Is Courageously Sitting On His Toilet In A Gas Mask While The White House Gets Fumigated

Heartwarming! Locks Of Love Will Now Donate Hair To Middle-Aged Men Who Have Lost All The Hair On Their Legs From Wearing Dress Socks

Beautiful Act Of Solidarity: When His Zookeeper Started Chemo Treatments, This Amazing Chimpanzee Pissed In His Own Mouth And Chewed On A Head Of Lettuce

Total Time Saver: Thinx Has Released A 10-Inch-Thick Pantsuit That Busy Working Women Can Bleed Into For Up To 6 Years